#13 A Tale of Two Parents

I often wonder what the most important professional relationship is for a teacher. Is it with the Headteacher? Is it with fellow teachers? Could it be with a Teaching Assistant? Oh, what about the children? (Probably best to include that one).

Or how about this: parents.

On Thursday this week I had two encounters with parents which couldn't have been more different.

In the morning, the father of a member of my class who has recently suffered a family tragedy thanked me for how I had supported his child through the process. His words humbled me greatly, and I was touched that even in a time of grief, he had shared this with me.

After school, I received a phone call where another parent 'raised her concerns' about our election of school councillors. I patiently explained our democratic process; that all candidates had the chance to present a speech; all children voted without talking to others; and that two members of staff had verified the vote. Pretty robust (are you listening, Scotland?). Eventually, the parent admitted that the reason for her complaint was that her child wasn't selected. That's politics.

There are other teachers in my school who would have taken a very different approach with that phone call. After all, when in school, we are the professionals and should be trusted to get on with our jobs. As a parent myself, though, I can see things from a parent's point of view. Whilst I would rather not be seen as 'interfering' with my own children's education, there have been occasions when I have picked up the phone myself to school.

With this in mind, I have developed a new approach to interactions with complaining parents. I try my very hardest to see the situation through their eyes; ensure they know the full facts (often children neglect to pass on critical information to parents!) and provide them with reassurances about how the situation will get better. There's no need for confrontation. That just creates barriers that aren't helpful to anyone. No, parents and teachers are on the 'same side'. We have the same interests at heart - the happiness and education of children. it's just that our means to achieve those interests may differ slightly.

As for those occasions when a parent gives a compliment about the impact you have made in their child's life...well, that is just about the most rewarding thing that a teacher can hear.